An unidentified woman is consoled on a bus reserved for relatives and friends of passengers who were aboard the jet. (AP Photo)

Numb family members of TWA Flight 800 passengers waited at least 18 hours for the airline to confirm that their loved ones had died in Wednesday's crash -- and many waited hours more.

The agonizing lack of information, along with the unavailability of top TWA management early Thursday, was "outrageous and callous," said New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, who tried personally to comfort and inform relatives at the JFK Ramada Inn.

Company officials said the delay was due to their need to ensure accuracy of the passenger list, and said last evening that they were close to reaching the end of notifying all families. Mark Abels, a TWA vice president, said, "Like him [Giuliani], we regret that the notification process took so long."

But it was a performance all too typical for an American airline, according to some who have been through the process.

"It's a major conflict of interest to have an airline in control of informing family members," said Douglas Smith, president of the National Air Disaster Alliance. His daughter, Alison, was killed in the October, 1994, crash of American Eagle Flight 4184 in Indiana.

By midafternoon Thursday, Richard Hammer of Long Beach had received no official word about the fate of his wife, Beverly, 59, and daughter, Tracy, 29, even though he saw them get on Flight 800 at Kennedy. His phone rang all day long with calls from friends and family, but not from TWA.

"I know they were on there even though TWA hasn't told me, because I put them on there," he told one friend who called. "They haven't contacted me at all." Hammer was up all night trying to call TWA's toll-free phone number, but he couldn't get through until 6 a.m. Then he was on hold for half an hour. "All they did was take my name and phone number, and tell me when they release the passenger list, they'll call me," Hammer said. "I don't know what to expect. I don't have a clue."

The airline finally called at 4:30 p.m.

"They confirmed what I already knew," Hammer said. "They've mishandled it so far. They're in a very deep hole so far."

His experience was typical and inexcusable, Smith said. An airline should be prepared to have enough lines to handle a heavy load of callers.

"When you call that 800 number, there's an expectation that you'll get information," Smith said.

Giuliani blamed TWA for failing to release the passenger list and was particularly irked that Michael Kelly, a TWA vice president, left Kennedy Airport to get some sleep at 2 a.m. He mentioned his complaints to President Bill Clinton in a morning phone call.

"It's a shame that the upper management has abandoned the families and employees," Giuliani said. "I was told Mr. Kelly went home to get some rest because he'd have a hard day . . . Other people are going to have a much tougher time. It's the most callous reaction to a tragedy I've ever seen."

Later, Giuliani and more than a dozen distraught family members berated TWA officials for their inability to comfort or inform the people gathered at the Ramada Inn. Johanna Clark, a member of the airline's trauma team, nervously tried to appease Giuliani when he demanded the release of the passenger list at about 1:40 p.m.

"We've been told for an hour the list was ready," she told the mayor, appearing to share his frustration. Giuliani leaned his face right in front of Clark's and told her, "I've been told for 18 hours the list was ready."

A bill is being drafted in Congress that would require prompt personal notification to next of kin and would mandate that any toll-free phone lines have enough capacity to handle incoming calls.

Pete Bowles, Carol Eisenberg, Isaac Guzman, Nora McCarthy, Ching-Ching Ni, Michael Slackman and Liz Willen contributed to this story.